


the aftermath

by tonystarks



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mostly Tony's PoV, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Steve and Tony need hugs, stony are the sweetest and they deserve the world, super short and sad, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 20:49:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14723372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonystarks/pseuds/tonystarks
Summary: Tony hated to admit it, but he knew that Steve Rogers was the only reason he was holding on.





	the aftermath

Tony wasn’t sure how many days have passed since he came back from Titan. He doesn’t know how many times he’s laid in his bed, watching as the dark sky became light again as the sun came up. Speaking of which, he doesn’t know when the last time he’s gotten any sleep was.

When he’s wasn’t in his room, Tony wandered through the Avengers Compound. He put his hand on the walls as he walked through the empty building, walking from floor to floor, trying to remember his way to and from so he didn’t have to ask FRIDAY to direct him back to his room - but he always ended up doing it anyway. There were too many thoughts in his head; navigation isn’t the first thing on Tony’s mind even if he used to be able to navigate the compound blindfolded.

He only ever attended team meetings whenever Natasha or Rhodey coaxed him out of his room. He hates being treated like a child, but he knew that they were only looking out for his best interests. Tony had heard them talking in hushed murmurs in one of the meeting rooms in the compound, talking about how they had to come up with a plan once everyone got back to normal. Tony knew ‘everyone’ meant him. 

He tried to become his usual witty self, practicing jokes in front of the mirror to try and convince the rest of the team that he was ready to help, but even he couldn’t convince himself. His eyes were sunken and bloodshot, and the circles under his eyes were darker than they’ve ever been - he looked like the living embodiment of death. And he hated it. He tried to burrow his thoughts of Peter dying in his arms to the furthest part of his mind, just like he did after what happened at the Battle of New York, but it only made him break down more. 

At night, in the comfort of his own room, he sobbed into his pillow. His tears soaked the silk as his thoughts came back to haunt him. His blankets were wrinkled from all the times he’s grasped them in his sleep whenever his nightmares got a little too real. Then, his eyes would snap open and he’d realize that reality was no better than his nightmares. 

Tony hated to admit it, but he knew that Steve Rogers was the only reason he was holding on.

Every morning, Steve would knock on Tony’s door thrice and ask if he wanted some breakfast. If Tony wasn’t in the mood, he’d stay quiet until Steve got the memo and left. If Tony wanted some, he’d tell FRIDAY to unlock the door and Steve would slip in, set a plate down on the bedside table, and leave. Steve did this every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and he didn’t once pry or ask Tony to talk about his feelings. Tony liked that about Steve.

One night, when Tony forgot to lock his door and when Steve thought Tony was asleep, he slipped into the room and brushed Tony’s dark hair back before planting a sweet kiss on his forehead. He told Tony that everything was going to be alright, kissed his forehead one more time, and left as quickly as he came. Tony leaves the door unlocked at night now.

When Tony left his room one afternoon, he caught Steve sitting on the couch in the living room staring out into nothing. He was so immersed in his thoughts that at first, he didn’t notice Tony walking into the room. Tony saw the pain and the longing in Steve’s eyes, and he realized that maybe someone in this compound was in as much pain as he was. Seconds later, Steve finally saw Tony and his eyes lit up, a smile appearing on his face as soon as he saw him. Tony leaves his room more often now. 

That same night, Tony laid in bed with his arms tucked under his head. He looked up at the ceiling, short breaths escaping his lips as he tried to think about anything but Peter when he heard sobs coming from the room next door. Tony hoisted himself up on his forearms, hearing Steve’s familiar voice cursing - something that took Tony aback as he _never_ cursed. 

Like clockwork, Tony pushed the blankets off his body and got to his feet. He left his room and walked to the one next door, commanding FRIDAY to unlock the door. He pushed his way into Steve’s room to see the man curled up in bed, hugging his knees to his chest as his body racked with sobs. Without thinking, Tony slid into the bed and laid down opposite Steve. Blue eyes met brown ones and tears mingled together in one tangled emotional mess. Steve and Tony wrapped their arms around one another, not a word exchanged between the two of them as they rode out the waves together. Every night since then, Tony climbs into Steve’s bed and they hold each other tight until the next morning. Tony sleeps a lot better now. 

**Author's Note:**

> day 492385 and i'm still writing sad post-iw stony fics :))))) i need help


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